Post by darkshadow on Sept 27, 2006 17:08:49 GMT
The castle grounds were quiet, as if a blanket of peace had wrapped itself around the cold stonewalls and silenced its inhabitants. Sunrise had not yet graced the lands of Xalanor, though the dozen cooks were already preparing morning breakfast for the day ahead. Besides the faint sounds of the king’s gentle snoring, not a sound could be heard by anyone in the castle. The king’s crimson robes were draped carefully over the chair beside his bed, and the similarly coloured silk sheet clung loosely to his large figure. Unrest was unheard of in the capital city of Lanzareth, and as far as its citizens were concerned, the word was one which had only one home: between the covers of Xalanor’s best fantasies.
Angriel watched as his king slept, he was slipping away and Angriel knew it. He was glad that he the king trusted him enough to tell him of his illness, but that didn’t stop him from being sad at the thought of his death. The word of the King’s illness had been kept quiet, known only by those with enough influence in the court of kings to know; even the populace of the city had no idea. Angriel sighed; he knew that soon a declaration would have to be made regarding his illness, or maybe we should just wait until he passes on, Angriel thought to himself, maybe it would be easier that way. He pulled his cloak tighter around his body as a strong draft blew through the open window. It would be nice to shutter that window for once.[/i] Angriel thought. But unfortunately it’s the only way the king can sleep, in the cool, and I must say, this chamber does get rather stuffy when there’s no breeze blowing in. Angriel got up from the oak chair and stood next to his king. He looked down into his pale face, devoid of any emotion as he slept deeply. Sleep was the only time the King wasn’t in agony, and that was only because the healers gave him something to help him conquer the pain as he drifted off to sleep. Angriel knew he wouldn’t last much longer than a week, at best 9 days. Usually, the sizable lord would be busying himself in whatever way possible, but each night since the king became ill, he had given himself time to sit down and to think, to mourn, even though the king was still alive.
Angriel’s thoughts were interrupted by the almost inaudible creak of the bedroom door, and, resisting the urge to shout, as he knew this would wake the king, Angriel stood-to, and acknowledged the entrance of a man who should not be there. Neither of them spoke, and although Angriel’s gaze was strong, the stranger’s eyes remained impenetrably innocent. “I did not expect you to be here sir, what is your business?”
“Although we have not met, I trust you know of me.” A pause followed the stranger’s sentence, so he continued. “I’ve come to increase the king’s medication…” The voice that came next was softer and more discontented. “His state appears to have worsened… I worry about our king.” A sigh escaped the healer’s lips, and it was this that gained the trust of one of the king’s most loyal companions. Even then, every movement was recorded under the watchful eye of Angriel. This did not appear to affect the actions of the healer, so Angriel let himself relax; the only time to worry was if the healer showed signs of nervousness. There was none. The healer left as quietly as he came, and Angriel finally stopped resisting sleep.
Angriel looked at his king, something was wrong, his breathing had suddenly slowed and a sweat was forming on his brow. With a gasp the king’s eyes opened, before he took one last breath and fell away into death. Angriel was shocked, what had that healer done to his king? Yelling he ran out of the Kings chambers.
“IT’S THE KING! KING LERON IS DEAD!”
Angriel watched as his king slept, he was slipping away and Angriel knew it. He was glad that he the king trusted him enough to tell him of his illness, but that didn’t stop him from being sad at the thought of his death. The word of the King’s illness had been kept quiet, known only by those with enough influence in the court of kings to know; even the populace of the city had no idea. Angriel sighed; he knew that soon a declaration would have to be made regarding his illness, or maybe we should just wait until he passes on, Angriel thought to himself, maybe it would be easier that way. He pulled his cloak tighter around his body as a strong draft blew through the open window. It would be nice to shutter that window for once.[/i] Angriel thought. But unfortunately it’s the only way the king can sleep, in the cool, and I must say, this chamber does get rather stuffy when there’s no breeze blowing in. Angriel got up from the oak chair and stood next to his king. He looked down into his pale face, devoid of any emotion as he slept deeply. Sleep was the only time the King wasn’t in agony, and that was only because the healers gave him something to help him conquer the pain as he drifted off to sleep. Angriel knew he wouldn’t last much longer than a week, at best 9 days. Usually, the sizable lord would be busying himself in whatever way possible, but each night since the king became ill, he had given himself time to sit down and to think, to mourn, even though the king was still alive.
Angriel’s thoughts were interrupted by the almost inaudible creak of the bedroom door, and, resisting the urge to shout, as he knew this would wake the king, Angriel stood-to, and acknowledged the entrance of a man who should not be there. Neither of them spoke, and although Angriel’s gaze was strong, the stranger’s eyes remained impenetrably innocent. “I did not expect you to be here sir, what is your business?”
“Although we have not met, I trust you know of me.” A pause followed the stranger’s sentence, so he continued. “I’ve come to increase the king’s medication…” The voice that came next was softer and more discontented. “His state appears to have worsened… I worry about our king.” A sigh escaped the healer’s lips, and it was this that gained the trust of one of the king’s most loyal companions. Even then, every movement was recorded under the watchful eye of Angriel. This did not appear to affect the actions of the healer, so Angriel let himself relax; the only time to worry was if the healer showed signs of nervousness. There was none. The healer left as quietly as he came, and Angriel finally stopped resisting sleep.
Angriel looked at his king, something was wrong, his breathing had suddenly slowed and a sweat was forming on his brow. With a gasp the king’s eyes opened, before he took one last breath and fell away into death. Angriel was shocked, what had that healer done to his king? Yelling he ran out of the Kings chambers.
“IT’S THE KING! KING LERON IS DEAD!”
I like it for a story opening, because it sets the scene of where it is, but we don't really know who the characters are. And the line about the window, is it entirely necessary? It seems like random details that we don't really need to know. But it's good 