Middle Ages London.

[darkshadow]

Middle Ages London is a good RP im in on another forum, and because we've got through three threads of over 26 pages each on it, we decided to turn it into a Soap, it is done in the form of a script. and i just thought i'd post it here. Because the chapters are so short, i'll post half in this post, half in another.

MAL, Soapy form-

The OLD and the DUTIFUL - chapter one.

(Catelyn running around in the dark.)
(Sophia running around in the dark, they see each others shadows.)
Sophia: Oh no... Someones stalking me...
Catelyn: (rustles tree branches.)
Sophia: AHHHH!!!
Catelyn: (Falls out of tree.) Oh... erm... it's a little chilly isnt it...
Sophia:... Yes...
Catelyn: How about you.. erm... come back to my place... (eyes spark up)
Sophia: (eyes also spark up) That sounds GREAT stranger I've never met before.
Catelyn: Thats very good.. (evil grin) Follow me child.
Sophia: Isnt it funny that we live across the street from each other, yet have never met except for when you come back to your house in the middle of the night??
Catelyn: You like nighttime dear?
Sophia:..err... sure...
Catelyn: Good.... (leaps on Sophia)
----- Next morning -----

(Sophia wakes up in bed much different to her own. She gets up as if it's normal and trys to find the strange lady who had attacked her earlier, to thank her for rooming her lowly behind.)
Sophia: Oh Caaatelyn! Lady I still dont know but plan to spend the rest of my liiiife with.
Catelyn: (appears round corner) YES my child?!
Sophia: (Leaps backwards) Erm... would you mind telling me why I have two gaping holes in the side of my neck? And why I have fangs... and feel an urge to tear a hole in your jugular and drink until theres nothing left?
Catelyn: It's a very very very long story.
-Breif meaningless jabble-
Catelyn: So you see, you can now never see your family again and you'll have to live with me... But it's ok... Were both women.... (Both Catelyn and Sophias eyes sparkle)
Sophia: Nooooo my mummy!!!! (crys)
Catelyn: Awww Sophia my dear, Come now, help me change into a new dress. Just untie those straps.
-cut to black-

(Credits)
Voice over: Just wait for the NEXT installment of the OLD and the DUTIFUL! Keep watching, next, Queer eye for the vampire guy.

The OLD and the DUTIFUL - Chapter 2
(Greit runs into Sophia's bedroom)
Greit: Miss Sophia, your father would like to ask you about his pregnant goldfish, and was hoping you'd be able to inform him of the whereabouts of his carriage... Miss Sophia? (Opens door and sees bed empty.. Room swirls around and turns a dull shade of red) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(Greit runs from bedroom knocking things over.)
Greit: SIR SIR anyone! Miss Sophia's gone!! Her beds empty! Shes been kidnapped! (busts into tears and falls down the stairs.

----- meanwhile, in Catelyns mansion ------
(Sophia sneaks out of Catelyns mansion)
Sophia: I hope no one sees me.... (Light flickers on in mansion)
Sophia: oh no! (jumps into bushes, gets stuck because of dress)
Catelyn: (screaming from window) SOPHIA! GET BACK IN HERE OR YOUR FAMILY WILL KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND OUR KINKY VAMPIRIC SECRET WILL BE REVEALED AND WE'LL ALL BE KILLED!
Sophia: (gets out of bushes) It's ok! I'm only going to spy on the little boys.... (runs off)
Catelyn: (sighs and sits down in big chair by a fireplace and eats icecream) She'll come back to me... (crys) When she say's her final goodbyes...

---- in the loft -----
(Sophia climbs up ladder into a room and looks upon sleeping boys eyes gleaming)
Sophia: My precious....
(Greit climbs up ladder and sees her)
Greit: OH! Miss Sophia... I'm going to just ignore you now, though I was sure you had been slaughtered while we all slept. Have a nice night...
(Sophia looks at Greit and grins evilly)
(Greit is scared)
Greit: Miss Sophia??
Sophia: (Sophia runs at her and pins her down evil grin eyes shimmering) shhhhhhhhhh... *places a hand over Greits mouth)
(Catelyn randomly runs into room)
Catelyn: Sophia!!! (shocked)
(Catelyn sees Greit... Runs over.... Eyes gleam)
(Catelyn chains Greit to chair and locks herself and Sophia in a room)

------ Random Alleyway -------
(Fitz walks around in random directions)
Fitz: OH NO! I hear the unmistakable sounds of a vampire!
(Runs into Sophia's loft and opens the locked door with amazing tallent)
Fitz: UNHAND HER or I'll stab you with this splinter!
~zoom in on splinter, screen drips red and screams echo~
Catelyn/Sophia: AHHHHHHH
Greit: (sees Fitz) eww Fitz.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Fitz: (Randomly stabs objects)
Sophia: I'm going to get my lawyer!!!
Fitz: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-CUT to black-

(Credits)
voice over: I hope you enjoyed the latest installment of the Old and the Dutiful.. Coming up next, Skippy the bush vampire.

[darkshadow]

The OLD and the DUTIFUL - Chapter 3
(Fitz and Griet leaving the now dark loft.)
Fitz: That was a tough battle, care to check out my abs?
Griet: No thank you kind sir... I'd much rather get this locket back to the missus.
Fitz: Ah, well then, I guess I'll go back to see if the sexy vampire women are still... er... Dead...
(leaves)
(Catelyn sits up)
Catelyn: Oh, how pleasent, the vampire hunter happened to miss me, cause me intence pain.. Oh no! Sophia, I think I lost your child!
Sophia: (also sits up) We have a child now?
Catelyn: Oh... Sorry... Wrong scene.
Sophia: (giggles)
Catelyn: (scowls)
Sophia:... I'm going to get my lawyer...
----
(Fitz walks past dark loft into Catelyns house)
Fitz: I wonder if they have any Crack in here...
(Lady jumps out in front of him)
Lady: BOO!
Fitz: (Stabs) Oh... Sorry miss, thought you were a vampire... as you do... Seeing as your in a vampires house.
Lady: ARGH! (holds chest) I think I lost the baby!
Fitz: (Scowls and kicks under table) Heeere kitty kitty... Hey look, a blind woman! (looks out window)
----
(Greit catches plague)
Greit: Oh no... I think I may have lost my.. puppy.. (clutches stomach) Bowzer will be so upset (crys)
(Dog walks into the room)
Dog: (sits on lounge drinks tea and puts on monicle.) Hows the pup?
Greit: Oh Bowzer... I'm so sorry..
----
(Sophia takes Catelyn back into the house and doesnt notice Fitz in the bathroom cabinet)
Sophia: Here Catelyn, let me undress you and put you to bed.
Catelyn: I'm scared of night terrors....
Sophia: Fine, I'll stay here tonight.
Catelyn: (Moves over) Thanks....
Sophia: Hows your almost fatal wound?
Catelyn: It'll be better by tommorow.....
(They grin)
----
(Fitz looks in sees women and leaves)
Fitz: I think I've seen a porno like this... (sees blind woman again) Here mam, let me help you rid yourself of that pesky vampire attached to your neck.
Blind lady: Thanks... (whacks Fitz with cane)
Fitz: OW MY LEG! (falls to the floor)
Blind lady: Yay! I got him! (hooks arm with vampire and they saunter off)
------
(Sophia and Catelyn get up the next morning to see a woman under their table)
Sophia: Get out from under there!
Catelyn: Stalker!!!
Sophia: I'm getting my lawyer!
Lady: (gets up and disapears for later use) bye..
Catelyn:... Who wants tea?
---Cut to black---
(credits)
Voice over: That was episode 3 of the Old and the Dutiful, we hope you enjoyed tonights episode and hope you'll join us next time for chapter 4... Coming up next.... 60 minutes- the blood bank

The OLD and the DUTIFUL -Chapter 4
(A bedroom Sophia and Catelyn staring out the window.)
Sophia: Oh god... That hunter down there... Flexing his muscles... He cant be doing it for that woman... For she is blind.... Then he must be doing it for me... I'm falling madly in love... I know I am.
Catelyn: Aww... How sweet.... He tried to KILL US!
Sophia: No... He tried to kill... YOU
Catelyn: He made me loose the baby...
Sophia: WE DONT HAVE A BABY!
Catelyn: (pouts) Thats what YOU thought.
Sophia: (points out window to her house) Hey look.... My house has the sign of the plague on the door...
Catelyn: That must mean your whole family has been killed by the black death....
Sophia: Oh... thats a terrible shame. (Bursts into hysteric crying)
Catelyn: Hey look... He's doing it again.
Sophia: (Runs out room crying, past Fitz and woman and into her house.
Catelyn: Well then.. (Follows suit and sits outside house in the snow.
------
(Man walking up the street shoes clipping on the ground, a tun amist in the air)
Seo: Oh my, I spy... A vampire... Hello miss, you must be awefully cold sitting there covered in snow... Mind if I give you a hand?
(Helps Catelyn up, tackled her back to the ground and attempts to dig his teeth into her neck.)
Catelyn: Hey you bastard, get your teeth out of my neck... By the way (giggles flirtatiously) I'm Catelyn.....
Seo: Nice to know, come, be sucked into my charm... Wait! I see more women up there... ta ra..
(Leaps up and climbs into window to scare the two girls messing around on the floor)
Seo: ello ello ello... Whats all this then..
Sophia: Oh dear
Greit: Hello sir...
Seo: I vant to drink your blood! (Count dracula accent)
Greit & Sophia: eeeeeek
Seo: Heeere kitty kitty kitty
Catelyn: (Jumps through window. Kicks Seo in jaw) I SAID, it's Cat...ELYN.
Seo: (Sprawled on floor crawls towards Greit in the corner crying.) BLOOOOOOD! (attacks and feeds)
Greit: ergh.... (black out)
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOD
Greit: (blank)
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Catelyn: Are you quite finished?
Seo: Hello miss... (sucks at Greits neck) BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD (cough) I'm looking for someone... He looks like a fag and you'll most likely find him in your drug cabinet or in your knicker drawer. (Smiles mischeiviously)
Catelyn: OOOOOH the vampire hunter?
Sophia: OH NO! Not my one true love!
Seo & Catelyn: -_-
Sophia: (Runs out of house leaving the 3 alone)
----------
Sophia: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE Hunter Hunter Hunter
Fitz: HEY! Hot chick over there! Come here!
Sophia: (Squeal) Eeeek
Fitz: (Bursts into tears and goes to put razor to wrists) MY MUMMY HATES ME! LIFE SUCKS.... That bitch killed my father... But He hated me toooo!
Sophia: Aww.... Poor wittle hunter.
Fitz: Here... have my blood.. (Pours blood from wrists into a jar)
Sophia: Oh... Thankyou. (puts it on sidewalk and steps away)
Fitz: Can I live with you?
Sophia: Erm.... Hunter..... I dont know your name... but I love you
Fitz: Vampire... I dont know your name... But I love you too
Sophia: Lets find out each others names... Then get married!
Fitz: and have kids!
Sophia: But first... Help me get the strange man out of my plague house....
Fitz: OK! (runs in opposite direction and leaves Sophia crying on street)
-------
(Seo looks up from bed)
Seo: I hear a woman crying!
Catelyn: (sitting next to Greit).... Duh.... Were in the middle ages.....
Seo: Yeah... but... yeah
Catelyn: Retard...
Seo: I'll make YOU retarded..
(Leaps on Catelyn)
----Cut to black ----

(Credits)
Voiceover: We hope you enjoyed tonights episode of The Old and the Dutiful.... Coming up next... The wheel of the middle ages! (Wheel of fortune clip) We hope you'll join us again next time..

[darkshadow]

The OLD and the DUTIFUL - chapter 5
(Sophia returns to the house with Fitz)
Sophia: (sees Catelyn with Seo) CATELYN!
Catelyn: (Sees Sophia) SOPHIA
Fitz: (see's Seo with Catelyn) SEO!
Seo: (Looks at Fitz) FITZ!
Sophia: CATELYN!
Catelyn: SOPHIA!
Fitz: SEO!
Seo: FITZ!
Sophia: CATELYN!
Catelyn: SOPHIA!
Fitz: SEO!
Seo: FITZ!
Sophia: CATELYN!
Catelyn: SOPHIA!
Fitz: SEO!
Seo: FITZ!
Sophia: CATELYN!
Catelyn: SOPHIA!
Fitz: SEO!
Seo: FITZ!
Sophia: CATELYN!
Catelyn: SOPHIA!
Fitz: SEO!
Seo: FITZ!
--------
(Seo standing by window, Catelyn on the edge of bed Sophia and Fitz in seperate corners)
Fitz: I want to kill you.... (to Catelyn)
Catelyn: I want to kill you more.
Seo: I want to kill him more than both of you want to kill each other!
Sophia: Cant we all just get along.....
Catelyn Seo Fitz: NO!!!
Seo: Well... WE can get along... Cant we... (wraps arm around Sophias shoulder)
Catelyn: (slaps Seo) NO you CANT!
Fitz: (Giggles from corner) YOU killed my father! (to Catelyn)
Catelyn: He killed my fioncee!
Fitz: He was a vampire!
Catelyn: SO AM I!
(Fitz trys to stab her)
(Seo reaches out to try and stop him.)
Fitz: I want to kill YOU most of all (Looks at Catelyn and starts crying) YOUR RIGHT! My father killed your boyfriend... (crys some more and rolls around on the ground crying)
Seo:... Your sick.... (Kicks Fitz out the window)
Catelyn: (laughs) Dumbass...
Seo: I think I shall go out there and kill him
Sophia: NO! DONT KILL HIM!
Catelyn: TRAITOR!
Seo: TRAITOR!
(Sophia blushes)
(Seo and Catelyn look at each other shocked)
Seo: She... was with... you?
Catelyn: She... wasnt with me???
Seo: (shocked) Sophia!
Sophia: ...What! (looks around innocently)
Catelyn: oh.... Sophia..... (Shakes her head)
(Sophia looks confused.)
----
(Fitz calling from snow pit)
Fitz: (sings) SEEEEO come down here, come down here, so I can killll you! And steal your underwear! And your drugs! And your women!
Seo: Nooo ooo ooo (playful tone)
(Seo looks at Sophia and Catelyn then leaps out the window.)
Catelyn: Seo! Where are you going?!
Seo: Let him rot! (runs off to feed)
Sophia: nooo Fitz (goes to nurse him back to health.)
-----Cut to black----
(credits)
Voice over: We hope you enjoyed tonights installment of the Old and the Dutiful. Join us next time, on tommorows episode. Coming up next. A vampiric affair!

the OLD and the DUTIFUL - Chapter 6
(Seos walking around outside Catelyn and Sophias mansion. Griet is with them)
Seo: Must get in... (peers through window grinning)
Catelyn: I have a strange feeling we have a stalker...
Sophia: Stop over reacting, what do you think this is? The Bold and the Beautiful? (laughs)
Fitz: Is that Seo? (points out window to Seo grinning sadistically on the other side.)
Catelyn: See... Told you.
Sophia: Oh... Great now what?
Seo: (Taps on glass) Let me in little piggies let me in.
Fitz: (Angrilly) NOT BY THE HAIR ON MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN!
Seo: (Breaks window grabs Fitz and jumps out) hahahaha
Fitz: I KNOW I've seen a porno like this before.... (winces)
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD (feeds off Fitz)
Fitz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (Feeds some more)
Fitz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD (Feeds more)
Fitz: (has been vampurised) Well this is just great.... (Grows fangs)
Seo: My creation!
(Seo and Fitz skip away merrily)
Fitz: Oh... I want to go back to Sophia my one true love, thanks for the cure.
Seo: Whatever... (steeples fingers evilly)
-----
Fitz: (Runs back to Sophia) MY LOVE!
Sophia: (Looks up from bed) Indeed!
Catelyn: (looks up from bed) Oh phooey.... (leaves the room)
Fitz: Oh my. I'm dying! Goodbye! (leaves room holding head)
Sophia: Goodbye my love! (waves)
Fitz: (runs to find Seo) SEO!!!!
(Sees Seo and Catelyn)
Seo: Erm... (Hides Catelyn)
Fitz: I'm hurting!
Seo: hahahaha take that hunter!!!
Fitz: noooooooooooooooooo
Catelyn: your so mean Seo... (playfully slaps him)
Seo: Muhahahahahahaha
Fitz: (almost dies) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-------
(Catelyn leaves to see Sophia Seo looks at Fitz)
Seo: Erm... Your coming with me boy.
Fitz: noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Seo: Shut up (kicks)
Fitz: noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Seo: (walks away)
Fitz: (burns) Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Seo: (laughs) BURN SUCKER!
(Fitz burns a bit more)
------
(Catelyn Sophia and Greit sitting by fire)
Catelyn: We need to find a way to kill Seo
Sophia: I know! He stole my lover!
Catelyn: Your lover stole my Seo!
Greit: Lets kill them both!
Sophia: NO!
Catelyn: YEAH!
Sophia: NOOOOOOOOO
(hear fitz in background)
Fitz: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Sophia: (still speaking) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Catelyn: Snap out of it girl... Now what happened to the woman who was hiding under our table?
Griet: (fondles dagger) I dunno....
----Cut to Black-----
(Credits)
Voiceover: Were glad you are enjoying the series of the OLD and the DUTIFUL, we hope you'll join us next time in chapter 7... Coming up next, an interview with a vampire!

[darkshadow]

the OLD and the DUTIFUL - chapter 7
(Seo and Fitz in maze)
Seo: Here boy!! (pats knees)
Fitz: (runs up panting)
Seo: look what I have for you! (pulls out from behind back a half naked red head wench)
Fitz: (Begs)
Seo: FETCH! (throws woman into maze)
Fitz: (Chases after woman) Heeeeeere wenchy wenchy wenchy....
Seo: (laughs) muhahahahaha
Fitz: (leaps on wench)
Seo: Now bring her back boy!
Fitz: ......
Seo: I SAID bring her back boy!!
Fitz: (mauls Seo)
-----
(Catelyn Sophia Greit and a few extras standing in a graveyard)
Catelyn: Heeeere Seo Seo Seo...
Sophia: Oh, I cant wait to see my love again...
Greit: (fondles Dagger)
Sophia: .... Greit.... Stop that
Greit: (hisses and backs away)
Catelyn: SEO!!! NOW! (Throws stuff on grave below them)
------
Seo: I must go.... (zombie)
Fitz: (Drinks lady) ok!
Seo: Come now!
(Catelyns voice) Seeeeeeoooo
Seo: COME BOY!
(Seo and Fitz run to Catelyn Sophia and Greit)
Seo: HEY! YOU! Get off my masters grave!
Catelyn: Come here Seo (smile)
Sophia: FITZY! (leaps on him)
Fitz: Errm... (wipes blood off mouth) My love!!
(frolic away)
Greit: Hey Seo.... (scowls)
Seo: M'lady (Bows)
Greit: (wild stab) ARGH
Seo: BOO! (leaps on Greit)
(Greit and Seo roll around while Catelyn kicks rapantly.)
Catelyn: DIE DIE DIE!
Seo: NO! the baby!!!
Catelyn: Our baby?!
Seo: (holds stomach) The baby!!
Catelyn: Is it coming!!
Seo: YES!
Catelyn: (Gets down on hands and knees to help)
Greit: (Wildly stabs at Seo) ARRRRGH
Seo: (sees blood on arm) BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Greit: Ew...
Seo: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Catelyn: (screams) ARGHHHH
Sophia and Fitz: lalalalalalalalala (skips)
Seo: (dies) blurt...
Catelyn: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Fitz: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sophia: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Greit: I'M CRAZY!!!! (runs away)
Seo: (dead)
Catelyn Fitz and Sophia: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Seo: (dead)
---- Cut to Black--------
(Credits)
Voice over: We hope you enjoyed tonights episode. Coming up next... It's hiding in my wardrobe...

the OLD and the DUTIFUL - chapter 8
(Sophia and Fitz in bed)
(Catelyn in another bed with Lilly)
(Seo lying dead on the floor)
(Greit raving around London)
Greit: ARGH! I'm CRAZY!
-cut-
(Sophia and Fitz's room)
Sophia: (Plays with Fitz)
Fitz: (lyes there)
Sophia: (Crys)
Fitz: (Crys)
-cut-
Catelyn: (Crys)
Lilly: (looks around) What the fuck?
-cut-
(sun comes out and hits Seo)
-cut-
Catelyn: (crys to sleep)
-cut-
(Sophia and Fitz)
Sophia & Fitz: (Crys to sleep)
-cut-
(Greit roving around London)
Greit: ARGH! I'm CRAZY!
-cut-
(Seos feet)
Feet: ARGHHHHHHHHH PAIN!!! ARGHHHHHHH
Seo: meeeehpmf... 5 more minutes....
Feet: ARGHHHHHHHHH PAIN!!!
Seo: Erghhh fine... (Gets up, dusts self off and walks into alleyway
-cut-
(Catelyn, wakes up a week later)
Catelyn: Hey look, it's a week later!
-cut-
(Sophia and Fitz)
Sophia: Hey look! It's a week later!
Fitz: This reminds me of a porno...
Sophia: Dont make me get my lawyer...
Fitz: Deeeefinately a porno..
Sophia: (Scowls)
Fitz: Bathe me bitch
Sophia: YES DEAR! (runs into bathroom)
Fitz: (follows her in)
-cut-
(Greit Raving around London)
Greit: ARGH! I'm CRAZY!
-cut-
(Seo eats rat)
Seo: I seem to have lost my memory... What a shame....
-cut-
(Catelyn Fitz and Sophia)
Catelyn: I want to take you both hunting
Sophia: Eeeeeeeewwwww
Fitz: (breathing heavily) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Catelyn: And I want to teach you how to fight, and use weapons.
Fitz: I know how to fight!!
Catelyn:... Suuuure you do faggot..
Fitz: (mopes)
Sophia: (glares) Tea?
Catelyn: MY TEA!!! (steals)
-cut-
(Greit raving around London)
Greit: ARGH! I'm CRAZY!!!
-cut-
(Seo in alleyway)
Seo: mmmmm Fresh bum...
(Eats random bum walking past.)
Seo: OH MY! I hear a damsel in distress!
(Waits for the sun to go down)
-cut-
(Greit Raving around London)
Greit: ARGH! I'm CRAZY! VAMPIRES VAMPIRES! Catelyn Sophia Fitz Seo VAMPIRES! The mansion, The one right there! Heres it's address! VAMPIRES! VaMpIrEs!!!!
Stranger: I'll vampire you!
2 other strangers: So will we!
(takes Greit out back)
Greit: VAMPIRES!
-cut-
(Seo wandering around the dark streets)
Seo: Heeeeerre memories memories memories
-cut-
(Catelyn closes curtains and prepares Sophia and Fitz for hunting, doesnt see Seo)
Catelyn: LEEEETS GOOOO
Sophia: Wait a secccond! (finishes Fitz up)
Fitz: Whaaaa bathe me again bitch!
Sophia: Of course dear!
-cut to black-
(Credits)
Voiceover: We hope you enjoyed tonights showing of the Old and the Dutiful, we hope the second season brings you as much laughter as the first.
Coming up next, Judge judy goes ape.

[darkshadow]

the OLD and the DUTIFUL - chapter 9
(Catelyn and Fitz in cellar)
Catelyn: Here, shoot me with this crossbow. (hands crossbow)
Fitz: Nah, it's okay, I have my own. (Unsheaths crossbow and shoots at Catelyn.)
Catelyn: (Suprisingly dodges all bolts and catches a few arrows in mid flight.) That was very good.
Fitz: Not good enough... (Shoots Catelyn in the spleen)
Catelyn: (sad) That wasnt very nice (crys)
Fitz: Oh, I'm sorry... (rewinds)
---
Fitz: Not good enough... (shoots Catelyn in the head twice)
Catelyn: Your not going to have good karma you know...
Fitz: Meh
-Cut-
(Sophia in kitchen)
Sophia: Make the tea, do the dishes, bathe the emo, what next!
Fitz: (calling from cellar) Lets make sweet sweet love after this!!!
Sophia: (calling down) FUCK YOU!
Fitz: (calling up) Thats the spirit.
Sophia: (pouts)
-Cut-
(Fitz and Catelyn sparing)
Catelyn: Come on now, put those flimsy arms to use, your a rat! You dont deserve the role you play! (blocks all attempts to stab her)
Fitz: And your a DORK!
Catelyn: (Flashes up frisbe with 'your a dork written on it')
Fitz: (Txts's Catelyn with 'your a dork')
Sophia: (Runs down stairs with tea on a tray, throws tea at them and spins the tray to show 'your a dork written on the side')
Fitz: (Stabs at Catelyn)
-Cut-
(Seo saunters up to doorway knocks twice then collapses)
Seo: Oh my medication! (raises hand to forehead)
-Cut-
(Fitz in cellar looks up suddenly)
Fitz: OH MY! I heard the unmistakable sound of the living dead!
Catelyn: Vampires?
Fitz: WORSE!
Catelyn: Vampires with... blisters?
Fitz: ZOMBIES!
(Sophia and Catelyn scream and faint)
Fitz: (Runs up to door and opens it to see Seo) Oh drat... I thought we killed you...
-Cut-
Seo: (Unconsious)
-Cut-
(Catelyn and Fitz drag Seo into mansion)
Catelyn: I know I tryed to kill you honey, many times... But I didnt know you were a homing Seo...(pets head)
Fitz: He's alive! (hops around room)
Sophia: (pouts) He never gets THAT excited over me... (worries)
Fitz: I'm sorry Sophia... But when Seo took me out, he taught me the ways of vampire! and the facts that all vampires must bear each others children. (holds stomach) I'm carring his child...
Sophia: Fucking emo....
Fitz: (runs into corner crying to slit his wrists)
-cut-
(Seo and Catelyn alone in a room)
Seo: (Wakes up) Catelyn... I dont remember you... Give me my coat!
Catleyn: Sorry dear, I had to see what was under it.
Seo: That means your going to have to marry me you know.
Catelyn: I love you Seo
Seo: and I'll love you until the next broad with big tits comes along.
Catelyn: And thats all I ever ask (hugs)
-Cut-
(Sophia and Fitz in their room)
Fitz: Now.. Where were we?
Sophia: I dont know... (coyly)
Fitz: (Pounces on Sophia) Look, you do this and I'll father your children?
Sophia: Sure!
Fitz: (Reaches into his pocket and draws out amnesia in a tube) Muhahahahahaha
-Cut-
(Griet running around the streets of London)
Greit:ARGHH I'm CRAZY!!!! (Runs into a study and straightens self out after a long day, takes off coat and pours a glass of Whisky)
Greit: I'm really getting sick of this. (Sighs)
(Greit sits down behind a large table and pulls out maps and compasses.)
Griet: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA (steeples fingers evilly) Oh... not long now... Muhahahahaha
-cut-
(Credits)
Voiceover: We hope you enjoyed tonights episode of the OLD and the DUTIFUL, we also hope to see you at it's next showing. Until then goodnight.
Coming up next, free willy and the crusaders of the lost ark

There. thats all there is at the moment..thats quite a bit. and thats only the story line from about halfish of the first thread =/