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Post by mc_nebula on Mar 17, 2007 13:24:18 GMT
rifk,
me: "mum... Can I go to ralphs' party in the holls?" mum: "arent they just drunken orgies?" me: "nope 0.o" mum: "didnt you have to walk the drunks home last time?" me: "drunks as in..." mum: "err, chris doran" me: "exactly, what do you expect from him?"
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Post by x-Lateral_Delusion-x on Mar 17, 2007 20:27:51 GMT
That is a good one
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Post by Vinnie on Mar 20, 2007 19:31:16 GMT
Me, to Luke:
'Woof'
...well everyone found it funny THEN.
EDIT: Well, I kinda destroyed that thread. So here's another one:
Me at Yak, to Jamie: 'You know when you sat down, your butt cheeks cupped my penis precisely'
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Post by StellaNero on Mar 22, 2007 17:50:26 GMT
Final line of my 'quick talk' from maths teacher about the general shittiness of my coursework and redoing of it even though it-is-not-allowediness: "Now please don't tell anyone, I could get in a lot of trouble for this..."
-Walking out of room, hasn't even finsihed closing door and sees Bryony:-
"Guess what!"
[Sure quite a few people have done this plenty of times though- but it amused me a bit she thought I'd keep my mouth shut. :] ]
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Post by Stanic on Mar 23, 2007 7:28:44 GMT
Lol how apt that you wrote that on St. Patricks Day
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Post by StellaNero on Mar 24, 2007 22:53:39 GMT
"If you argue correctly, you are never wrong,"
Nabbed off some Canadian perve guy's personal message :]
I'm really really really bored, so I keep typing this face everywhere I go: :], then pull it myself.
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Post by Spawn on Mar 25, 2007 18:44:26 GMT
Dave: "I'll attack depending on penis size." Alex: "Who's?" Dave "his" *pointing at me me" Me: "Yeah, your not attacking...ah crap!"
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Post by Ceri on Mar 27, 2007 11:08:59 GMT
Me (several times): Ich bin kalt!
(^^ I was intending to say "I am cold" in German. The correct translation of "I am cold" is "Mir ist kalt" literally "it is cold to me". "Ich bin kalt" actually means "I am dead" ^.^)
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Post by Skyrider on Mar 27, 2007 20:18:17 GMT
((I thought tht was: Ich bin tod. )) Girl at the play after party: Get off me you f*cking bastard ((Not what it sounds like. She was severelly pissed at the time and I was trying to get her indoors at the request of others as she was staggering about)) Later: HEY ALEX!!!
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Post by Ceri on Mar 28, 2007 6:46:43 GMT
('Ich bin tot' is the formal version of 'I am dead', I think. But 'Ich bin kalt' is an informal way of saying it. I think )
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Post by x-Lateral_Delusion-x on Mar 28, 2007 20:25:42 GMT
On Mary thinking in Russian - "Why doesn't she just think in English?"
Kirsten (college friend of a few members) demonstrates extrordinary ditziness for a really clever person in Timeout this morning.
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Post by Spawn on Mar 28, 2007 20:48:18 GMT
This takes place during a very odd conversation between roleplaying group, about all the radioactive things you could be bitten by.
Alex: "I was bitten by a radioactive Pikachu" Lexi "In that case nobody likes you anymore." Alex: "Oh"
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Post by adzi on Mar 28, 2007 22:16:45 GMT
This happened in my accounting class tuesday...
Teacher (Sue): Adam, how are those figures? adding up ok? Me: No, the buggers won't add Sue: ADAM! Please, in this class, instead of bugger, please use bastards, its much more meaningful. Me: How? Sue: Buggered if I know *walks away*
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Post by Ceri on Mar 29, 2007 10:37:43 GMT
Full version of what went on in Timeout yesterday:
Ceri: Mary was having to think in four different languages at once. She hears it in English, translates into Russian, understands it, thinks of an answer, translates it back into English and says it. And she was having to do the same in German and French as well, as well as translating German and French into English for me. Kirsten: ... Why doesn't she just think in English?
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Post by Vinnie on Mar 29, 2007 18:57:01 GMT
Damn you! Got there before me! Grr.
While I'm here: 'Shut the hell up! Oh my God i'm calling the police you freaky maniac perv! I HATE YOU!"
Parveen in my art class, to me as i opened my mouth to speak.
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Post by Ceri on Mar 31, 2007 17:04:00 GMT
My sister, this morning: "I want to be mummified when I die. You can live for like 4000 years."
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Post by Spawn on Mar 31, 2007 17:31:50 GMT
Lexi "That song was somewhere between crumpets and crying"
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Post by Vinnie on Mar 31, 2007 19:33:09 GMT
More of a joke than a quote. Some Australian guy at work today:
Q. How many gays does it take to put in a lightbub?
A. One, but a whole A&E department to get it back out again.
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Post by adzi on Mar 31, 2007 23:28:48 GMT
My boss at work today Dean: "Adam, grab the thingies, from the doodad" Me: "Sure no problems" *5 mins pass* Dean: "Where are the thingies" Me:....pause Dean: *stares* Me: "Shoop Dah Whoop" Dean: "Cool"
I later found out the thingies were reports and the doodad was the shredder
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Post by Ceri on Apr 1, 2007 7:13:34 GMT
We went out for a meal last night, for my dad's birthday and to chat about mine and my sister's past holidays, and my sister and I were trying to decide how much German she remembers from Court Moor, and getting back into the mindset, I automatically said "Danke Schon" to the waiter when he turned up. He gave me a strange look and my family laughed a lot...not least because I nearly did it twice more on the same evening
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Post by Aulius on Apr 1, 2007 15:24:23 GMT
This was about an hour ago.
Me: Well I guess I'll be bored till Tuesday Ralph: Whats happening Tuesday? *Stares at ralph*
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Post by Ceri on Apr 1, 2007 15:27:09 GMT
Me (touching hot plate that's just been placed in front of me): It isn't hot. Ow.
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Post by Skyrider on Apr 1, 2007 16:36:17 GMT
This was about an hour ago. Me: Well I guess I'll be bored till Tuesday Ralph: Whats happening Tuesday? *Stares at ralph* LOL! Sry Ralph but tht is quite errmm...dunceish! Well I saw 300 last night. Very good film and my mum begins to dance in her chair to this advert music. When she does I say this: Me: Mother what have we discussed about these shennanigans in public of yours?
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Post by Spawn on Apr 1, 2007 16:40:37 GMT
This was about an hour ago. Me: Well I guess I'll be bored till Tuesday Ralph: Whats happening Tuesday? *Stares at ralph* LOL! Sry Ralph but tht is quite errmm...dunceish! Well I saw 300 last night. Very good film and my mum begins to dance in her chair to this advert music. When she does I say this: Me: Mother what have we discussed about these shennanigans in public of yours? Oh...must think before I say. This happened between me and my mum when I was in Basingstoke with her last. Mum: "Look Ralph, your really not du..." *me trying to walk up a down escelator" Mum "never mind And also *Fi slaps her leg to prover a point* Me: Yeah, well, I can touch myself to!
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Post by StellaNero on Apr 3, 2007 13:04:50 GMT
-Anonymous- says: wats the capital of London [Me] says: ...there isn't a capital of london [Me] says: london IS a capital -Anonymous- says: its L [Me] says: ...omg
Just thought I'd put it here too 'cos I'm avoiding chores and bored.
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Post by Ceri on Apr 3, 2007 13:06:06 GMT
Mum: Well at least we know we're in the right place. Me: At the right time!! *grins* EDIT: Uhh, lemme just explain that one...lol...We were in the car on the way to StEx. 'Right Place Right Time' is one of the songs from the show and the line goes "I wasn't in the right place at the right time". So it made sense in the context. Yeah, it was funny at the time
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Post by Vinnie on Apr 3, 2007 14:08:30 GMT
Yes dear
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Post by jenn0 on Apr 3, 2007 14:11:52 GMT
But the wrong man in the right place can make all the difference in the world.
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Post by Vinnie on Apr 3, 2007 14:13:49 GMT
0.o
Like George Bush, he's the wrong man for anything but he sure as hell is in the rightest place on earth!
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Post by Ceri on Apr 3, 2007 21:23:24 GMT
Vinnie: You spilt my Bud, you silly fat fuck!
Jenn0: I hate being drunk. Because all anyone does is laugh at me.
Jenn0: I'm bored of being me. I wanna be someone else. Someone successful. Adzi: And sexy. Jenn0: Yeah. Someone sexy and successful. Someone successfully sexy. Adzi: Like a prostitute!
(It's also worth noting that it took Jenn0 several attempts to be able to phrase this ^.^)
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